…slowly begins to see things in a way very different than he used to. Things that were once innocent have become twisted through the muddled lens of a new consciousness now taking root in his mind, a mind that is now filled with the kinds of thoughts toward women and girls previously reserved for shameful moments of weakness and impropriety, all of it born moment by moment through the ceaseless conditioning of his addiction.
A man addicted to pornography has started to become desensitized to violence, depravity, disrespect and lewdness for his mind is regularly fed these things, like a poison slowly consuming the conscience.
A man addicted to pornography cannot offer a woman genuine intimacy, because the very concept of intimacy is slowly being replaced with the notion of sexual gratification as the sole outcome and purpose of closeness.
A man addicted to pornography has probably seen things too grotesque to put into words, images that will stay with him for a very long time. Even if he does not seek these things out his addiction makes it almost inevitable that he will stumble into them eventually. The longer he feeds this addiction the more likely he is to begin to seeking them out.
A man addicted to pornography cannot credibly claim to respect any woman for his mind is ever set on filling itself with images of humiliation, degradation and even abuse against women. The assertion that pornography emphasizes consent is a thin lie, masking a reality of manipulation, coercion and dominance. A man who feeds on it knows this.
A man addicted to pornography probably tells himself that he is not addicted; rather he is merely fulfilling a natural curiosity that is normal for men. Perhaps the curiosity is normal…but the pornographic acts he ingests grow less and less so the further he descends the dark downward spiraling path of this world.
A man addicted to pornography, especially if he is young, probably does not understand the concept of romance. Romance is now nothing more than a quaint notion…faded, tarnished and suffocated by so many other thoughts and ideas of a wholly disparate nature. Pornography does not understand such a silly gesture, only methods of luring and manipulating its victims into hollow acts of emptiness…so that others may share in it.
A man addicted to pornography is losing his hold on what it really means to Make Love to a woman – if he ever had it to begin with; for the concept is becoming as foreign to him as self control, gentleness or innocence.
A man addicted to pornography probably pretends that his addiction is normal; he may even talk or joke about it with friends or seek affirmation from fellow addicts. But this is just a way of rationalizing his addiction in an attempt to feel normal. Sadly, addiction to pornography is becoming common, but it is by no means a path toward emotional health, normalcy or inner peace – and it will begin to change him.
A man addicted to pornography may hide his addiction well, but no man can hide from his conscience, just as no man can deter the damage this addiction will inevitably do to his mind, health and relationships.
A man addicted to pornography cannot love in a meaningful way, because everything about his addiction violates and destroys the very essence of what it means to love…a wife, a girlfriend, a mother, a sister, a daughter, a friend.
A man addicted to pornography knows deep down inside his addiction is wrong. If he is even faintly introspective he knows that it is also slowly and deeply eroding his humanity.
A man addicted to pornography may genuinely want to break his addiction but he faces many fears and obstacles, such as having it revealed to others, admitting that it is wrong, admitting to himself that he needs help, or not knowing where to turn when he finally musters the courage to begin the difficult journey of breaking free.
A man addicted to pornography is not alone. Men throughout the world, from every culture, walk of life and position in society share this addiction. Many of them want to be free of it. Yet many sadly plod on, falsely believing they are alone (or too weak).
A man addicted to pornography should (and for his own sake must) realize that it is possible to place himself on a path toward freedom and self respect, and a life in which his mind and conscience are free again…a life that allows him to love and receive love in a way that pornography will never offer. The same goes for those who create and distribute pornographic content.
There are others who want to help, not condemn, simply help. Many are well qualified to do so because they themselves have passed through this addiction. Others simply have a genuine desire to see those who are hurting placed on the path toward healing.
It is possible.
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For Men looking for a way out
Helpline – A Toll-Free Confidential Helpline for Men and Women (1-800-583-2964), provided by the National Coalition for the Protection of Children and Families, a Christian organization. Issues include crisis intervention, child sexual abuse, sexual compulsions or addiction, marital infidelity, and information on internet safety.
TroubledWith – A dedicated site from a Christian organization called Focus on the Family
They also offer an anonymous hotline (1-800-232-6459) for those who need someone to talk to. Mention that you wish to speak to someone about “Troubled With”
Through the Flame – Support for those who are struggling to overcome pornography addiction, and the family and friends who care for them – with an emphasis on being non religious
XXX Church – A Christian Group dedicated to tackling pornography head on. The video section of the website features testimonies from recovering addicts, and former producers and workers within the industry.
New Life Habits – A thoughtful blog dedicated to breaking free from pornography and sexual addiction
Man on the Road – Tom Buford started this organization, which reaches out to ‘men who travel for a living or are away from home for extended periods, whether they be truck drivers, bus drivers, entertainers, salesmen, military personnel or college students.’
Exodus International – A Christian organization dedicated to helping those with a desire to break out of the homosexual lifestyle
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For others affected by Pornography or those in the industry
New Life Partners – An online Christian support group for the wives of sexual addicts
Her Story Lives – Discover the many other women who are dealing with the same hurts and issues you are. Listen to their stories…or share your own…
Partners for Purity – A Christian support forum geared toward female partners of sexual addicts
Shelly Lubben Forum – Online support forum for the victims of abuse and those in the sex industry
One Way Out – Looking for a way out of the porn industry? This support group is here to help
Light Dancers – Exotic dancers play a pivotal role in the cycle of pornography. If you are a dancer Light Dancers has something to tell you…other than simply condemning your lifestyle.
Woman at the Well – Tracy Coggin wants to tell you her story of being an exotic dancer, and share with you another story of hope about a Woman at the Well.
Beauty From Ashes – Think no one has been where you are? The founder and women behind this organization have been there and seen it all. And they want to help you achieve the ‘impossible.’ This site also features a multitude of resources for those caught up in the industry.
Teens Against Pornography – An online forum for teens struggling with pornography
XXX Church – Teenagers are far from immune to pornography addiction. In fact, they may be the one demographic most involved in consuming pornography. XXX Church has the strait scoop on confronting this issue head on.
Enough is Enough – An organization dedicated to ‘Making the Internet Safer for Children and Families’
The CyberTipline for Missing and Exploited Children has an online web form for reporting an abuse
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